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National Laboratory

Apparently, desiring to explore the grounds of a National Lab is frowned upon. 

I had read online there were some abandoned buildings in the vicinity of the National Laboratory. Maybe they were on the same property? I knew the Lab was secure, and had guards, so what would it hurt to just see if we could peruse the area?

After the two and half-hour drive, we arrived in Los Alamos and found our way to the Laboratory.

Pulling up to the gates, I could see there were at least four gates, but only one was open. Ahead we went.

“We wanted to explore the Laboratory,” I told the guard.

“You can’t. Is that why you came? Just turn around there and leave.”

“Oh…well, I also heard there are abandoned buildings from the Lab in the 1940’s here. Do you know where those are?”

“There are no abandoned buildings. Just turn around there and go back.”

“Are you sure? I thought there were abandoned buildings?”

“No! This is the only laboratory. There are no abandoned buildings. Just turn there and leave.”

I was inclined to give him a hand gesture, but decided against it and simply turned around and left. But not before thinking about accelerating the car toward the Laboratory. I saw the sitting guard or police car and decided against it.

“What do we do from here?” I asked Andrea and Tina.

“Let’s find the park,” Andrea suggested.

We drove to the Visitor’s Center, which led us to the Aquatic Center. It was suggested that we needed a pass to get into the park, which didn’t make sense to us but we went with it.

We arrived to the Aquatic center to ask for directions and a pass.

“You don’t need a pass to visit the park.”

“Well that makes more sense. How do we get there?”

He gave us directions and said we’d need to go through security at the National Laboratory.

“We have to go through the gates to get to the park?”

“Yeah, they’ll just check your ID and wave you in.”

I looked at Andrea wondering if the guard would let us in after our previous questioning.

Sitting in the car before making our way back to the Laboratory, Andrea and I devised a plan.

“We can just play ditzy and confused,” Andrea suggested.

“Yeah, we’ll pretend we were confused and he’ll play right in and not give us a fuss.”

Thankfully, I didn’t give him the finger.

“Look, we’ll just say we’re from out of town and we got confused and just want to see the park.”

“Right…”

Maybe I should twirl my hair with my finger? No, too obvious.

“He’ll probably be the only guard again too,” I said.

We arrived at the same guard’s station and I lowered my window with a smile on my face.

“Here we are again!” I said and chuckled.

“We are just so confused. We actually want to see the park, Camp May! I don’t know what I was thinking before.”

“Camp May?” he said.

“Yes, the Aquatics center sent us this direction to get to Camp May,” Andrea said.

“The Aquatics Center?”

“Yes, so sorry to bother you. We just arrived to see Los Alamos and got turned around and confused!”

Should I bat my eyelashes? No, too obvious.

Score! He smiled!

“Ok…go ahead and go straight. You’ll see a sign for Camp May and just follow it. To get back this way, you’ll have to go through security again on the other side. Just show him your ID.”

“Thank you so much!”

Torture

“You can come out of the bathroom…”

I knew she could hear me, but she wasn’t immediately responding.

“I don’t know where I am,” she replied.

“Well, you’re in my home, obviously dead. I think I can help you.”

“Why do you think you can help me?”

“I’ve helped many like you.”

“What is that?”

Coming out of the bathroom, she pointed to my laptop.

“It’s a computer.”

She seemed confused.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I don’t remember everything.”

“You don’t have to remember everything, you can just tell me what you do remember.”

“I was locked up.”

“Do you know why?”

“No, they would only give me small amounts of food.”

“Did they do anything to you while you were locked up?”

“I don’t want to remember!”

She became emotional, but not exactly crying.

“Are you sure I’m dead?”

“I’m almost positive you’re dead. It must have been a long time ago if you don’t recognize my computer.”

“1946.”

“Soon after the war ended.”

“Yes, I was taken right at the end. I thought it was victory, but two women kidnapped me. I didn’t trust them.”

“How did they take you?”

She showed me an image of being physically assaulted with her mouth being covered. The two women restrained her.

“They wouldn’t tell me where they were taking me, they just told me to shut up.”

She continued, “They hurt me.”

She showed me an image of her being strapped to a table and…

The Girl in the Corner

Sitting in the family room while dinner was cooking, I noticed an energy near a corner. The energy was tall like a grown person. I could feel it was a young woman and she was very sad and angry.

“They took me for their own purposes. They promised me my mother. They said if I go, I’ll see her.”

“Did you see her?”

“No.”

“They took parts of me. They violated me.”

“What year is it?”

“It’s 1942.”

“How old are you?”

“I’m sixteen.”

“Who took you?”

“The men. I tried to run.”

“Where?”

“Out in the woods. They had dogs and snakes everywhere.”

Snakes?

In the image she showed me there were many snakes around.

“Why did they take your mother?”

“I don’t know, they said she had information.”

“Did she work for the military?”

“No. She did work for the government. She had a secure job.”

“What does secure job mean?”

“She had clearance.”

“What did they do, how did you die?”

“When I tried to run, they caught me. They put me in a cage. I couldn’t see out.”

She showed me an image of adults putting a cloth bag over her head.

I began wondering where they took her when she answered my question.

“I don’t know where they took me. They tied me up. I don’t know for how long.”

She showed me an image of being gagged and considered useless at this point.

She realized they had already killed her mother.

“I don’t know what they wanted to do with me.”

She showed me an image of how she died and shortly after she died (Details in Silent Whispers).

“Have you seen your mother?”

“No.”

“This really bothers me. I hope someone is here to help you move into the light…”

I was feeling a heaviness I wasn’t expecting to feel that night. I ached for her and the pain she endured. I knew she would receive assistance in the light, but in the moment, I just wanted to cry, especially after she showed me how they killed her.

The Speaker arrived and assisted her to move on.

Later, I wondered if this was a preview to our next destination, a destination with individuals who will share stories of torture, abduction, and pain. But most important those who are in pain will receive guidance and assistance to move on as this girl did.

Help Who?

“There will be one who will come to you who needs help,” Nicky Boy said.

Nicky Boy!

I had met Nicky Boy in the late fall of 2014. I woke up one morning, turned in bed, and saw a nonphysical man laying on my bed in his dapper clothing from a different era. The era he is from is the 1930’s and 1940’s. He had on his nice suit, leather shoes, and of course…a cigar. I asked him who he was and he said, “Nicky Boy.”

That’s an odd name…and he really likes his shoes.

After coming to know his personality and his enjoyment of his cigars, gambling, and socializing, the nickname made sense. From time to time he comes around to offer his advice and ask me to help someone, he knows, who is trapped in pain.

“He needs guidance to the light and he can’t see me. Do not be disturbed by what you see. You’ll know who it is when you see him,” he added.

This had happened before. I told Nicky Boy I would help his friend whenever he arrived.

A few weeks later, just upon slowly waking up, I felt some droplets of water on my arm that was sticking out of the covers. I looked up and was surprised at what I saw. I quickly sat up against the headboard.

Good grief, what happened to you?!

I saw a wide-shouldered man standing in front of me. He had dark hair, but most importantly he was wet, blind, and dressed in clothing that seemed from many ages ago.

He didn’t communicate with me, he didn’t even seem to see me there…at least at first.

“Aarrragggghhhhh!!!!”

What the hell was that? Why is he screaming like an animal?

I just sat there waiting to see if he could recognize my presence. It was obvious he was carrying immense trauma from another time…for a very very long time.

He backed up towards the wall even though I hadn’t moved. I didn’t get the sense he spoke English, but I knew I would understand whatever he conveyed.

“What happened to you?” I asked.

He communicated at first in pictures. He presented the image of being on a ship from very long time ago. He was whipped and blinded in the form of torture. They tied him up and dropped him into the ocean. Even though this appeared to be more than a century ago, he was still very present in his pain. He was also still wet and blind.

Nicky Boy showed up then too.

“He can’t see me because I didn’t know him in that life. His trauma stops him from seeing me here. I knew him in a different life.”

This man began to speak in a way I could understand.

“I want revenge!”

Oh…that’s what’s keeping him locked in pain.

“I don’t think that’s going to work…”

“I want revenge for what they did to me and to my son!”

“As long as you want revenge upon others who hurt you, you’ll stay in pain. What did they do to your son?”

He showed me an image of his adult son being murdered in what could have been in the same vicious manner.

“I understand why you want revenge. It makes sense. These people hurt and killed you and your son. But it’s obvious you’ve been waiting a long time and revenge hasn’t happened yet. I don’t think you’re going to get your revenge here.”

“They deserve the same pain they caused me and my son.”

I shrugged.

“Your desire for revenge will keep you in a cycle of pain. Whether that pain keeps you in this blind and tortured reality or another reality. It won’t get you to a productive end. Your desire for revenge may be keeping you from seeing your son on the other side. Focus on wanting to see your son.”

As he began communicating what happened to him, he didn’t seem so wet and he appeared calmer too. He seemed more willing to listen.

“You need to cross over.”

“Will they be punished?” he asked.

I shrugged again.

“It will be more like self-punishment. Those who hurt you may very well keep repeating their cycle of pain and trauma. Your desire for revenge keeps you locked in self-punishment. I would imagine it is the same for them…at least for some time. But I haven’t seen anyone punished as you put it.”

It looked like his sight was returning.

“You need to make a choice. Your son could very well be waiting for you on the other side and you’re stuck here. You need to cross over.”

He seemed reluctant to do so, at least until he knew those who harmed him and his son would be punished. Maybe he didn’t quite trust or believe me either.

After thinking about it, I could tell he could see the light or at least a spark of it.

“You want to see your son. I can say he’s not here and you’ve been looking a long time.”

He half-nodded in acknowledgment and very slowly crossed over while I watched and waited.

Nicky Boy acknowledged the work and left. He’ll return again, most likely with a request…or at least to laugh at something I’m doing that he finds humorous.

Well that was one way to begin the day!

Mount Shasta Part 2

“I have to hurry!” a teenage girl said.

“Why?” I asked.

“They take my life again and again. They make me repeat my death. He comes to watch you.”

“Us or you?”

“Yes, me and you.”

“They make me run and then chase after me. I don’t want to continue…I’m ready to go home.”

And just as quickly as she appeared, she left.

We looked around and didn’t see anyone else around to speak with or help. Moving on to a different road, we walked around keeping our eyes open to potential children or teens.

The late afternoon sun indicated to us it was time to start thinking of heading to the hotel. The air was getting more chilly and we were not seeing anymore kids on our walk on different roads.

“Wait, I think something is there,” Tina and Andrea pointed out.

“Yes, there’s a teen boy on that hill. We can’t get up there, but we can still hear him. There’s a female to the right of him.”

“They lie! Everyone lies, don’t believe what they say!” the teen boy said.

“Who?” I asked.

“Your friends, don’t believe what they say.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Everyone lies! They told me I could go home and I didn’t!”

“He’s very angry,” I said.

“They told me I could go home, but they never let me and they never will. They tell me I always have to go back. I tried to leave but then they come get me. It’s like they tie me with a rope that yanks me back.”

He showed me his head was drilled into. He could feel it…he was awake. They did something to sedate him and then doing… (details in Silent Whispers)

“They killed him after they had what they wanted, but he hurt another girl in his rage, which was set up,” I said to Tina and Andrea.

“The girl to the right is not the girl he hurt,” I added.

“I want to go home. A woman brought me here,” the girl said.

“I don’t believe anything anyone says!” the teen boy said.

“I want to go home. Tell me it’s ok. I want my grandmother,” the girl said.

We worked with the two kids as long as we could. Andrea began connecting with the teen boy as we listened to the girl near him.

We began to leave as we felt they could move on if they wanted. I knew the boy would only move forward if he wanted to at this point. I wasn’t sure if he trusted the light to move into it, but we encouraged him.

That night, we were assisted by higher consciousness beings who offered us guidance and support.

The next day, we located more children and heard their stories and helped them cross over. I noticed more and more men who were projecting their mental bodies to the areas were were connecting with kids. These were men who were trying to interfere with the kids receiving help. I told them to leave, but they kept following us.

On one of our walks we met a nice man who was sitting with his art work, feathers, and his dog. We had a chat with him about his experiences while camping at Mount Shasta.

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Later as we moved on, again, many times I would see energy and then it would disappear. I concluded it was children who were either immediately taken away or who held so much fear, they ran away. Either way they were being controlled like the others.

(Details of the other children’s stories in Silent Whispers)

Our final night in Mount Shasta, we had a visitor in the hotel room.

“Tami, do you see someone there?”

Tina was pointing to the wall with a window that I hadn’t been looking at.

“Yes, I do. It’s a man…”

“You don’t understand what you’re doing. You need to stop!” he said.

“Huh?”

“You three think you know what you’re doing, but you don’t. You’re screwing with a formula, a quota. More will be taken. The more you help leave, the more will be taken in their place. You will be interfered with.”

He left the room.

“What the hell?” I said to Tina and Andrea.

“Do you think he means it?” Andrea asked.

“I think he thinks he means it. He wasn’t dead. He was alive. The others have never spoke to us before. He made an effort to follow us to our hotel room?”

We came to learn, like the other men, he was a fully alive male who was projecting his mental body.

Was he threatening us?

I don’t know if it was a threat, but more men followed us home after leaving Mount Shasta. Specifically a man in a black suit and white shirt.

More in Silent Whispers.

Mount Shasta Part 1

“Cheers to a new adventure!”

We said this together, while sitting in a nice restaurant on the water on the pacific coast.

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(Some of my photos have the green orb in them. Not in all sunsets or moon pictures, but some.)

Clinking our glasses together, we all knew one thing. We all knew that we knew nothing of what was to come.

This new investigation would be with very little upfront information and almost no expectations of what we might or might not find. Andrea and Tina had happily agreed to travel with me on this investigation even without knowing where to look, what to look for, or what to expect. We all knew one thing..that we knew nothing.

Getting up early the next morning and loading our suitcases in the rental car, we headed to Mount Shasta from San Francisco, a three and a half-hour drive.

Upon arrival, we dropped off our luggage at the little Inn we’d chosen for our two nights and headed to the main road up Mount Shasta. We admired the beautiful area, full of trees and little reminders of the impending autumn. Squirrels were constantly betting on their own life they could make it across the road in time.

“Do you feel anything?” Andrea asked me.

“No, not really…” I said sighing.

I have no idea what to look for. Each trip we receive less and less upfront information. Thankfully, we all trust our intuition and allow it to lead us where we need to go. 

It’s all about timing. We need to figure out what unmarked side roads to drive down at the approximate time nonphysical children and teens will be willing to speak with us. It’s almost like a precise formula that has some sort of equation of which I’m completely ignorant.

“Wait…that road feels interesting,” I said.

Andrea slowly turned down a road that quickly became a dirt road.

“I don’t know this is looking pretty narrow,” Andrea said.

“Yeah, let’s just go as far as we can and walk from there,” Tina and I said.

I had specifically worn my knee-high boots and jeans so I could walk through bushes, up hills, and not get scratched or slowed down by tricky footing. The boots and jeans came in handy many times on this trip.

As we were walking, all at different paces and looking around the general area, we would all sense energies, but it wasn’t consistent.

I see a child…wait the energy’s gone. 

A few minutes later I saw another person and he or she was gone in a flash. Then it happened again.

What is going on? I don’t understand.

“That tree looks interesting all bent over like that. The other trees are straight,” I said.

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We noticed a nonphysical little girl hiding behind the bushes. We approached her softly and just listened.

“I don’t know how I died…” she finally offered.

She began showing me what was done to her at the hands of extraterrestrials. Then she showed me their hands on both sides of her head doing something to her head.

“They hurt me all over. My mom…where is my mom?”

The images and feelings she offered made it feel like the event occurred decades before. Information was offered that the girl’s mother was looking for her after she went missing.

“Help me go home…”

“Tami, do you see something over there?” Tina asked.

I looked where she was pointing and I could see two individuals, one older than the other.

“Yes, I do. Andrea maybe you can assist this girl to cross over and I’ll go over there?”

Walking towards the two people, it felt like an older teenager and a small child. They were standing next to each other. They indicated the extraterrestrials, the Greys, took them underground.

In the image they showed me, the kids’ heads were…(details in Silent Whispers)

“They froze…,” the older teenager said.

“Froze what?”

“Froze thoughts.”

How does that happen? I’m not clear on exactly what they mean.

In the next image, their bodies were covered in…(details in Silent Whispers).

In the same image, extraterrestrials were doing the work, but a human man was watching what they were doing.

What the Greys did eventually led to blindness.

“We have to go back now,” they said.

“What?! No! Why?”

“We have to go back.”

They’re being controlled, it’s almost like they’re robots.

“No! Believe in love! You don’t have to go back! Believe in love! I love you, believe in love!”

I said this over and over and over with every ounce of strength I could project.

They slowed down their walk and then stopped and just stood there with their backs to me.

A blue Being came to us. I had recent familiarity of this Being. She’s androgynous, but has a distinct feminine energy. When I first heard her speak to me some weeks before, she communicated in sound and tones, not a language of this world. I quickly was able to focus and hear her communicate in a language I could understand. I had been told that she and others like her would be assisting us on this trip.

“I will assist them. They can’t see me, but they can feel the energy…,” she said.

Oh good, I don’t know how to stop them from going back.

I knew the Being could and would assist and there was not more for me to do.

Walking back to Andrea, I asked her what she experienced with the girl.

“When you relayed what the girl was saying about what was done to her, my heart swelled and reached out to her.  As you continued, her voice seemed to fade and became muffled, and all I could focus on at that moment was connecting to the girl and wrapping her in beautiful bright energy. I told her, ‘It is ok, you are safe…it is ok, you are safe….it is ok, you are safe….’ I chanted in my head and in my heart to her – over and over.  I felt my hands cupping her face and stroking her cheeks, and then intuitively placed them on either side of her head just as you were saying that the ET’s had done this to her as well. I felt I could negate whatever terrible thing they did to her by replacing that energy with love and support and compassion. I explained to her, while holding her, that she could move on – she had the power to do so and she would be safe – that I was there, as long as she wanted me to be, to assist her. I can typically tell when one has moved on, but I always linger a bit longer just to be sure. I  smelled a floral/citrus/spicy scent that hadn’t been there before – I kept holding her until the scent was gone and I believed she had moved on too. Do you feel she crossed over?”

“Yes, it feels so.”

Later, we were informed that a man was standing off to the side of the bent-over tree. He was an angry man in his 50’s, perhaps. He stood there watching us and angry at what we were doing. He was a fully alive man projecting his mental body to to prevent the children from receiving our assistance.

After learning of this, I focused myself to be more in tune with energetic projections that were trying to interfere in our work.

As we continued walking, we noticed a nonphysical teenage girl. Since we were all walking at difference paces, sometimes Tina or Andrea pointed out energy and sometimes I saw it ahead.

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“I have to hurry!” a teenage girl said.

What did they do to you?

Read more in Part II-coming soon!

They Took Us…

A few days later, I knew I needed to listen to some children’s stories. After spending hours in the sunshine and warm temperatures that are so rare in March in Colorado, I finally settled down to listen.

“They took us,” I heard a deceased child say.

Immediately this child showed me images of being removed from a mother’s arms. The child being removed was an infant. The infant was swaddled in a blanket and this confused me.

“We were taken to hide from the Nazis. We are Jewish and Polish.”

The child, whom I now determined was a girl, was indicating that her mother gave her away in order to save her life.

Five years later, the little girl was taken by the Gestapo. In the images she kept presenting to me, she was moved around from place to place and it appeared from person to person.

“Here, you can use her,” an adult said about the girl.

She was given to scientists for testing.

The little girl showed me her fear at that time and she was held in a solitary room. The room appeared to be clean and sanitary.

One or two adults came into the room to take her to another location; I assumed in the same building. She was screaming and full of fear as they pulled her out of the room to a laboratory. They appeared to have her strapped down and seemed to be checking her eyes, mouth, and other parts of her body. Perhaps this was their definition of a physical exam?

“She’ll do,” one adult said.

Though they must have been speaking in German, it was being presented to me in English as she was conveying her story. She told me her name was Monika.

She showed me being kept inside a dark room and alone. She was fed some food, but she seemed to be in a solitary confinement the whole time.

“They wouldn’t let me see anybody. I would cry for my Momma, but no one came.”

“What did they want from you?”

“They just kept poking at me and hurting me.”

She showed me being poked with needles and strapped down to a table again.

The Speaker was here too and she said, “They removed her blood for testing. They would inject…(details in Silent Whisper) She died a short time later. She never knew her mother, not consciously. The mother is seeking her. The mother remains lost until her daughter is found. You must bring them together.”

“The biological mother?”

“Yes.”

“How do I get to the mother?”

“She will come. You must connect them.” She continued, “I will help her until then.”

“Was this in Rzeszow?”

“A different location.”

I knew the mother would come around and maybe soon. I would need to be prepared for her.

I remembered that the girl said ‘we’ and not ‘I’. Who was she talking about?

“They were separated. She knows not what happened to the other. They were both hidden after their birth,” the Speaker said.

I knew the girl was safe with the Speaker and I would be ready for the mother.

Will He Listen to His Guides?

(After speaking with a deceased teenage girl who had come around)

In her place was a teenage boy.

“I was beaten,” he said.

He showed me images of being whipped while…(details will be in Silent Whispers)

“They would give me food, but not a lot. I had to watch images on a screen. I was so tired and they made me keep watching. Tried to fight it, but they controlled me along with the other boys.”

“Why?”

“They wanted to control my mind. They controlled my thoughts, my emotions. I wasn’t always allowed to sleep when I wanted and then I was. It seemed unpredictable sometimes. Sometimes they left me alone for a while, not hurting me or making me do things. And then it would start again.” He continued, “they would take our clothes so we’d be cold.”

“How did they get you?”

“I was walking home alone at night after a party. They stopped to give me a ride and I said yes.”

He showed me a black van and the neighborhood seemed affluent.

“You never went home…”

“No, but they made me call home once.”

“Why?”

“To mislead my parents. They thought I’d gone off the deep end.”

“Do you know how long you’d been there?”

“No.”

I wondered why he hadn’t moved on to the light and then he answered my question.

He continued, “I don’t know anyone who would want to see me, so I haven’t gone over.”

He said he was taken in 1989 from California.

“I don’t know who, as far as family, would be in the light for you, but I know your guides can help you.”

“Them?” He nods to other side of the room.

I looked over and felt the entities’ energy and it felt compassionate and gentle.

“Yes, I think so…”

“They try to talk to me, to tell me to trust them,” he said.

“Do they ever try to force you, seem like they’re lying to you?”

“No.”

“Ask them how they can help you,” I said.

“They said it’s ok to love again and they’ll help me find peace,” he said.

He continued, “Thank you for not judging me.”

I could now see he has blonde hair.

I felt the teenage boy move into the light and hopefully would form a friendship with his guides.

What Did They Do To You?

(Note: The Speaker is a female entity who is assisting me with gathering information and helping the deceased children who still hold their trauma)

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Sitting in my loft while Bethany and Robert were watching football downstairs, I sensed the Speaker come in and she also had a little girl with her.

“She needs assistance. She was taken from her family and she knows not love.”

“Her family didn’t love her?” I asked.

“No. She was experimented upon from age four to eight-years-old. There was much torture in her life. There was abuse before that at home. Mostly mental and verbal. All she knows is pain.”

“Can you tell me what the experiments were?”

(the details of the experiments will be in the book, Silent Whispers)

It sounds like this occurred in the 1980’s…for her at least.

“You can trust me,” I said to the girl.

She was visibly shaking and was scared to come too close to me.

“It’s ok, she can help you,” the Speaker told the girl and gently nudged her a little closer.

The girl began crying and said, “I’m scared. I don’t want to go home.”

“You don’t have to go home,” I said.

She was holding her stomach in pain.

I looked at the Speaker, confused by this.

“She can feel the pain in the stomach area,” the Speaker said.

“How do I help her? She seems to trust you more than me.”

“She needs to know compassion from more than one.”

As I offered compassion for her our dog, Lacey, decided she wanted love too and came to nudge my hand for petting. This seemed to help ease the girl’s fear.

“She will listen,” the Speaker said this to me as I promised to continue offering her compassion.

The Speaker left and eventually the little girl left too. I wasn’t sure, at the time, if she left to move on or left to a different area of the house. If she remained in our home, I would probably figure it out soon enough.